What Scares You?
This is a heavy question. Or a light-hearted one. Most people can come up with a shortlist of fears or even phobias they have.
Wasps? (my 6 ft 5 tall husband is terrified of wasps)
The dark? (I find this fear of the dark especially fascinating here in Sweden as in the Winter it is very, very dark yet I’ve met more women scared of the dark here than anywhere else!)
Are you afraid of heights?
Maybe, economic instability? Brexit? Your car breaking down in a snowstorm?
This question is such a good dinner party question. Also, it’s a great question to regularly ask yourself. It’s a motivational question and forces you to look honestly at yourself and your life.
It’s not just interesting to identify what scares you. What you’re afraid of. What your fears are. Acceptance is important.
It’s absolutely OK to experience fear. It’s an evolutionary survival mechanism from the good old cavewoman days. We are designed to look for safety to survive.
And, we are all afraid of something. You and I probably have similar fears. Fears around our home life, family, money.
Those who don’t think they have any fear are playing safe. They are scared to push their limits.
And then there are psychopaths who don’t feel fear as an emotion at all!
There is FOMO. The fear of missing out.
Maybe you are scared of being lonely. You’re scared of not making the most of your relationships with your children or your husband. Spending time with friends?
- The first step is to identify your fear.
- The second is to acknowledge your fear with love and acceptance.
- The third fear is to face your fear.
Do it! If you do nothing, nothing happens, nothing changes, nothing improves.
You miss opportunities.
You don’t expand, reach your full potential, develop or grow.
What Scares Me?
I can feel fear when it takes over me. Physically in my body. Sweaty palms, wide eyes, heart racing.
I want to run. Escape. And hide under my duvet. Often it’s the idea. It’s not even a real event.
Some people are worried about other people noticing their fear. They see it as a weakness or feel embarrassed.
I worry about my sons picking up on my fears and using them against me! (Also, I don’t want to pass my fears onto my kids).
What scares me?
- Public speaking in Swedish
- Getting on a long haul flight with 4 kids
What used to scare me the most is the fear of reaching the end of my life and feeling like I hadn’t done enough. I hadn’t reached my full potential. I hadn’t lived a life true to myself. I hadn’t achieved some of my dreams.
This is quite a common experience when faced with death or the death of someone close. I had a huge desire to travel after the death of my father. I really wanted to live abroad. I wanted my kids to spend more time in the sunshine. Running barefoot, swimming in the sea in February. This involved me facing one of my fears which was taking 4 kids ages 6 months to 5 years on a 12 hours flight to spend 6 months in Asia.
I did it. I faced my fear. I grew as a person and as a mother. I forced my husband to face some of his fears too! It felt brilliant!
Facing your fears leads to uncomfortable, accelerated growth! It feels wonderful. I feel alive when I’m facing my fears.
Fear and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
In Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, phobias can be managed and treated through exposure therapy. Through a gradual, controlled step by step process, a client can choose to identify, accept and slowly face a phobia to conquer it. This is a difficult and challenging process and I admire every person who has the courage to face a fear.
I believe fear is part of the human experience. It is up to you when, how and if you choose to face it. It would be a shame to reach the end of your life with a long list of regrets and to know that it was your own fear that stopped you. Nobody else. Just your fear.
The key to overcoming your fear is to just do it!
Say yes! Ja! Oui! Si!
Or maybe, just ‘OK. I’m going to try to face my fear’. That is a great step.
Thank you for reading!
I’m curious, What scares you? What is your biggest fear? I’d love to know.