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Why Is Trust So Important?
Trust is a confidence, certainty or reliability of someone or something, yourself, your love and your relationship.
We all have different views and beliefs around trust, often shaped and affected by our past relationships and experiences.
Mindfulness and CBT can help us be aware of these beliefs and patterns and try to let them go and stay in the past, instead of affecting our present relationships and experiences.
Your relationship with yourself is so important. This is a lifelong love affair and effects all your other relationships.
Your relationship with your partner is valuable and important. Maintaining a romantic relationship takes regular work, attention and acommitment to love.
There is always space to grow, learn and explore, individually or together!
A relationship is an opportunity to develop and practice self awareness, self discovery and growth. I learn so much from my close relationships, not just with my husband but also my family and friends, and even clients.
I experience my intimate and romantic relationship and partnership as a safe haven where I can be myself unapologetically and recharge and refuel. I aim to always provide that safe space and environment for my husband too. I also recharge and refuel myself too using the following practice.
I believe that every romantic relationship and partnership takes work, dedication and commitment. It is a constant and continuing journey of discover and insight.
What Is A Great Relationship?
We are all unique individuals and change as we age and experience life. It is so common to have lived a life and experienced many romantic relationships.
Some relationships are more challenging than others for example if there are major cultural or religious conflicts, or long distance relationships. I wrote the following article on how to make a long distance relationship succeed.
I believe that a great relationship is not necessarily one that lasts a lifetime or the longest relationship.
A great relationship is one where you felt safe to relax and be yourself. Where you feel supported and loved unconditionally.
A great relationship is where you are equal partners and support each others goals and dreams.
Most importantly a great relationship is one where you feel or felt free to grow and develop.
Everyone has a different idea of what makes a great relationship. The important thing is that you and your partner are on the same page!
One common misconception is that ’everyone is having more fun, romance, sex, adventure, excitement, (insert your own thought here!) than me!’ Please remember to always be patient and compassionate towards yourself. It is so easy to focus on the problems.
Here are some questions for you if you have a partner:
- What action could you take to be a more loving, attentive, generous, patient (insert your own thought here!) girlfriend or husband?
- What does trust mean to you?
- What steps could you take to build more trust in this relationship?
How To Build Trust?
It can be challenging to admit to yourself that you’re not completely satisfied or happy with the state of your relationship. It can be even more challenging to try to communicate your disatisfaction to your love. You might be worried about his reaction or even how to start that conversation.
- Identify your problem or issue (just start with 1)
- Make an appointment (via text message: I would like to discuss a small problem with you. When is a good time?)
- Approach the appointment with a calm, positive attitude and energy.
I believe communicating openly, unapologetically and clearly about your desires, wants and needs is the most important way to build trust. It can be difficult to even identify your own wants and needs to yourself.
- CLEAR COMMUNICATION
- BE VULNERABLE. SHOW YOUR TRUE COLOURS
- GIVE AND RECEIVE
- RESPECT AND HONESTY
- MAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER
- DEVELOP PHYSICAL INTIMACY AND CONNECTION
- CLEAR BOUNDARIES ABOUT WHAT YOU EXPECT FROM THE RELATIONSHIP
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Tips For Building Trust In Your Relationship
- Start with your relationship with you. Can you love yourself?
- Be responsible for your relationship, your sexuality, your feelings, your development.
- Meet your lover from an attitude of self love and acceptance and not from a attitude of lack and neediness. He or she will feel this! Having a mindfulness practice is a fast method to achieve this.
- View and value your relationship with your partner as an opportunity (and a journey) for discovery, growth and adventure.
- Speak your thoughts, feelings and desires clearly with honesty, clarity and love.
- Build a loving, kind, patient and forgiving relationship with yourself, your partner.
- Voice your expectations from your relationship.
- Make time for each other to regularly connect and chat and be physically intimate.
- Be aware of any destructive patterns you may have had in past relationships including your parents relationship.
- Let go of any baggage from past relationships and experiences. See your current relationship and love as a new clean slate.
The Last Thing You Need To Know
Relationships are a privilege and a great experience for self discovery and journey. Sometimes relationships break up and that is ok too. In the following article I explain how kindness can make a huge difference in how you experience a break up or divorce.
For me, I find sharing a hobby or activity together can really help increase the bond, trust and fun in a relationship. I wrote about my own personal experience here.
Relationships take work and resilience. There are always opportunities to improve. Sometimes we need support and that is ok.
I strongly believe the test of a great relationship is how you bounce back after a setback and how much fun you’re having!
- How do you deal with challenges as a team?
- How do you communicate your desires and needs honestly?
- How do you receive your partners desires and needs?
- Do you hold grudges, let resentment and disappointment build?
- Do you forgive easily?
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