Do you sometimes feel disappointed by people in your life?
Do you feel mistrusting and suspicious of strangers and even wary of new situations?
Do you feel hopeless or helpless, and generally find it hard to trust?
We are surrounded by negative messages. The news and media bombard us with images and stories that confirm our worst fears. People are evil. This place is dangerous. That situation is hopeless.
We live in a heightened state of stress and anxiety. We make decisions based on fear as our response.
I understand. I am a mother of four children. I worry about whether other children are kind to them, or if the adults they meet are fair and trustworthy. I worry about their safety and happiness and what state our society and the environment will be in when they grow up. Most of all I worry about protecting them when I’m not around now, or in the future.
It is easy to feel stressed, anxious and disheartened in these surroundings. Our minds are looking for danger and so we find danger. It’s basic evolutionary psychology. We are trying to survive by avoiding being eaten by bears!
It would be so refreshing to wake up every morning and just feel safe, secure in the knowledge that everything is fine. To have confidence that people can be good, kind and helpful. To know that there is no need to feel scared or suspicious. To believe that we are not weak or helpless.
Create a Positive Mindset
I used to feel fearful, but now I feel brave. Completely. I made a few changes to create a more positive mindset. It’s my hope that one of these changes might resonate with you.
- I stopped watching and reading the news! Really, this simple step was a game changer!
- I also made a choice. I was going to believe that I lived in a friendly universe that loved and supported me.
- I decided that I was going to start using the new age word “abundance” and it totally changed my perspective. I looked for evidence that there was enough to go around. That there was enough money, enough hours in the day, enough, enough, enough, more than enough. Plenty in fact.
- I started looking for and counting my blessings. Literally making a list, a gratitude list of all the things that were ok, then good, then really great actually!
- I made a choice to focus on the positives.
- I chose to appreciate all the sunshine, all the times my husband took out the bins and all the cuddles my kids gave me. I basked in that feeling of appreciation. “How lucky am I!!”
Identify Your Own Needs and Desires
Most importantly, I started to identify my own needs and desires. This took a while and was hard work for me. I hadn’t done this for a long time. I had learned to be compliant as a child, not take up space, be seen and not heard. Sometimes not even seen.
I had forgotten what desires and wants were. I wasn’t even sure of what I needed let along if it was really ok to own them. This is still a work in progress for me.
I think it’s common for women, especially mothers with young children to feel self-sacrifice is just part of motherhood. Kids, husband, home, work come first. Then my needs and desires. If I can even identify what they are! It is hard to not feel guilty too about wanting, needing and asking for autonomy.
But, this change in perspective is so vital! If we don’t start honouring our needs and desires we allow resentment and anger to build-up, as well as feelings of low self-esteem, confidence and self-worth.
That doesn’t help anyone and most importantly it makes it hard to trust people and the world.
Finally, the last step is to trust yourself. When I started to trust myself. Trust my own decisions. Believe in myself and my capabilities. I felt like I could step into my power.
This benefited not only myself but my kids, my husband and of course my clients. I could serve and support them all better. I could be the best version of me. I gave myself permission to be the best me.
And so cutting out negative influences and fear-based ideas, cultivating gratitude and appreciating all the things I had instead of focusing on all the things I didn’t have helped me trust the universe and feel more loved and supported.
In return, with my cup filled instead of empty, I could share and offer that love and support to others.
Thank you, Universe!
Thank you for reading! Do you trust the universe (people and the world)? Do you feel supported?
I’d love to know! I really hope you do!
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