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Grief, loss is a normal part of life. It is part of the human experience.
It is the effect of the cycles we must go through in life. Nobody is immune or can escape from this feeling, from this experience. The circle of birth, life and death is universal. I think it is beautiful.
What Is Grief?
Grief is an emotion, a state, a feeling and an experience. It is energy. Most people would describe it as a loss. The experience of losing something or someone.
We don’t know where to direct the love we feel. After a loss, where can we send our love now?
Grief can be felt after the death of someone we love. It can also be experienced after the loss of a person, a relationship, a phase of life, a job, a career, a lifestyle or a home.
The 5 Stages Of Grief
These are not part of a strict timeline, but it is helpful to identify where you might be in your grief relevant to your situation, from a loss of a loved one, a relationship or a home.
Why Is Grief Important?
It is inevitable. It is a lesson. Grief provides us with an opportunity to experience and slow down in life.
If we give ourselves space to experience grief fully, feel our feelings, accept our emotions and allow the energy to move through our body and release and let go. We can move through and past grief and enjoy what is on the other side.
It is easier, more common to shut down, numb the pain, or distract ourselves instead.
I know I did this after the death of my father. It was at the same time as the birth of my third child so I threw myself into looking after my new baby. I shut down those feelings and they festered inside me for a long time. Eventually, that emotional pain manifested as physical pain and I suffered from IBS and cramps.
How To Manage Grief?
By holding space for the grief. Being brave and facing pain. Accepting those feelings with love. Releasing them with forgiveness and gratitude. Asking questions.
What can I take with me from this experience?
What is the gift?
What did I learn?
Then we can look to the future with hope and excitement about life. We can practice mindfulness to accept the present, experience the now. As something ends, something new begins. After death comes rebirth.
List Of Ways To Manage Grief
I believe sitting, being still is the first step to becoming aware of your emotional and physical feelings. Acceptance of the situation and these feelings with love. Then movement helps move the emotions through your body. Emotion is just energy in motion. Finally a release of the emotion with forgiveness and gratitude.
- Breathwork or pranayama
- Qi gong
- Kundalini shaking
- Ecstatic dance
- Rituals and routine
- Baths, swimming
- Pleasure (what does that mean for you?)
- Writing, journaling
- Support of friends and family
- Talking to a professional, a therapist.
It is so important to be kind and gentle with yourself during this time and process.
Grief is always there and never completely goes away. That’s why this post is called How to manage grief and not How to cure grief! From my experience anyway, it can just take a certain song to remind you of that ex, or a wonderful saying that reminds you of what your dad used to say. In a second you’re transported back to a time and place and all the emotions come flooding back. And that is ok.
It is a time for self-care and self-love, patience and understanding.
It is a time to accept that all feelings are welcome and valid. The dark and the light. Bringing them together and moving forward with hope.
Always with the questions:
How and what and where am I feeling right now?
What makes me feel good?
I hope this has helped you in some way. If you are going through grief at the moment, I want you to know it will pass in waves, and you are not alone.
Thank you for reading! If you know anyone who might benefit, please share on Facebook.
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