Do you like to travel?
Do you love planning your next adventure?
Are all your daydreams about exploring new faraway countries and experiencing different cultures?
Yes, that’s me.
Me.
Me again.
I’ve always been that way. I feel alive when I have a dream. I really thought my wanderlust would just calm down once I had babies. My husband hoped my wanderlust would just calm down once we had babies. We were wrong.
Like every other area of my life creating baby humans ignited a huge thirst, desire and passion to expand, to discover and to grow. For me, that included showing my kids more of this beautiful world.
The Dream
In 2016 when my 4th baby was 6 months old my husband and I, our 5 year old, 3 year old, 2 year old and the baby plus a suitcase full of nappies took 4 flights from the North of Sweden to the tropical island of Penang in Malaysia.
We rented a house and the 3 older kids went to a nursery. Our days there were slow. Beach life, delicious food and a fascinating education about the hotpot of cultures on that beautiful island.
From there we did a few trips to Langkawi, Krabi, Phuket, Kuala Lumpur and Bangkok, always using Penang as a base. It was romantic, relaxed and we all appreciated the 6 months of summer.
The Reality
It wasn’t all sun, sea and instaperfect palm tree photos.
My 2 year old decided he had a phobia of sand.
My 3 year old refused to use any public toilet.
My 5 year old developed an addiction to Thai food.
The baby had terrible eczema and had to always wear pyjamas in 30 degree heat.
My beautiful dreams of sunbathing and drinking cocktails while the baby slept for 6 months stayed in dreamland. I started to feel resentful and disappointed. I had huge FOMO.
I had to adjust my expectations. I had already moved the dial on my expectations as a mother, but I had forgotten to apply that to my travel expectations too.
I decided instead to feel so insanely grateful that I was sweating on the beach or swimming in the ocean in February. (My usual experience of the month of February is minus 20 and 1 metre of snow in Sweden).
I saw how welcome and accepted my children felt everywhere we went. I loved how confident they became talking to new people. They had so many interesting questions about the cultural differences, the temples, the monkeys, the palm trees, the ocean and the weather. My husband and I had to google a lot.
I adopted many local customs and one of them included booking a 30 minute massage most days!
I changed my perspective and my whole travel experience changed.
It was such a privilege to have that precious time with my husband and children.
Even though daily life was very similar to our Swedish routine. Piles of laundry, poo nappies and kids refusing delicious food, just in a tropical paradise with lots of sun, sea and sand sprinkled between the laundry and nappies. Most importantly there was plenty of smiles and laughter.
5 surprising lessons I learned from travelling with 4 kids ages 5 and under
1. Travel light. They actually do have nappies in Asia.
2. Ignore the naysayers and judgemental Jacks and Jills. They’re probably jealous because they’re too scared to go on their dream adventure with their kids. I was scared too, but like most things it was much scarier in my head than in real life!
3. People are kinder than you think and love to feel helpful, just ask!
4. Kids are resilient and so are their parents.
5. Long haul plane travel and especially airport security is challenging when you’re outnumbered by your kids, but it’s all mindset. There wasn’t a huge difference in my experience between flying with my husband and 4 kids to Asia, and flying alone with 2 kids to Scotland. I fake smiled a lot at the sleeping singletons and child free couples, accepted that I was going to be exhausted, and drank all the free drinks offered to me by the very kind air stewards. Ipads always help.
I would do it all again. I’m planning and dreaming up our next trip right now. This time with a 5th baby.
Thanks for reading!
Do you like to travel?
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Such great experiences you and your family is living! It may not be as easy as it could be but totally worth it!
So many lessons to learn. Lots of growth and expansion through travelling with my kids. I am so grateful for all the experiences including the challenges.
You are one brave mama! I get anxiety and freak out with just two lol
I know that anxiety is real! I’ve travelled with various combinations too and sometimes 2 of my kids together can be more work than 4 depending on the combination and of course their moods, and my own mood that day! I believe it is all mindset, and a brave mindset is useful!
This is so interesting because, like you, I would make a bigger deal of it in my head and I would try and talk myself out of it. I love that you just went with it and realized how enjoyable it could be, regardless of how many childless couples were around you. They don’t realize how much more fun everything is when you have kids 🙂
You’re so right Brooke! The mind loves to chatter away with reasons not to do something. I believe it’s all fear based chatter though. Travelling with kids provides so many opportunities to overcome that and just take a leap of faith. I learned so much from these experiences and from my kids. As you said, everything is fun through the eyes of a child.
Most people choose to travel only before they have children, I love how you have decided to travel with them in tow. It is such a wonderful thing to expose them to other cultures. The lessons they are learning could never be found in the classroom. Btw those daily massages sound amazing! 🙂
Yes! The massages were amazing and I saw them grow and learn so much. I learned so much too from travelling with 4 kids and loved feeling how much I grew as a person and a parent. I travelled a lot before I had kids too and there is always that feeling of nostalgia, but life is about experiencing all these phases of life. It is wonderful to share these experiences with my kids.
I love to travel and I’m also terrified of the airport and the plane with two toddlers. One day I’ll bite the bullet and do it. (One day might be 5 years from now but at least I’m going, right? Lol)
It’s great to have a goal! You do what feels right for you and your kids! I’m an expat so travel is enevitable, plus I love the sun,sea,sand tropical weather which means I really have to travel for my own wellbeing. My kids need to come along and I have to do what I can to make the whole experience enjoyable for all! I agree with you that the airport is the worst part! Good luck on your adventures!
I always dread traveling long distances with my kids BUT the first time I did, we missed our flight and had to wait 9 hours in the airport for the next one. Long story short, WE SURVIVED! So yes, it can be done.
Yes! You survived! A long delay in an airport is one of my worst case scenario regarding travelling with kids, but yes totally not the end of the world! Well worth the adventure!
This is very encouraging. I traveled with my 4yr old and it was the hardest trip in my life. Maybe l should have brought her siblings along.
This is so inspirational! My husband and I have serious wanderlust, and we have 2 under 2. We just did a domestic trip this summer, but we’re hoping to do an international trip soon. It’s good to know it can be done! Thanks for the tips!
We did a test before we flew with 4 and drove from Sweden to Norway with our 4, the youngest was a few months old. It was a long, long roadtrip, but so beautiful and gave us confidence to fly. You can do whatever you decide to! Travelling with kids is full of lessons and laughs!
I LOVE to travel, but I really have been held back because of my kids. I am always so worried of how they will behave or what we might need – and you’re right: it’s so silly! It’s not like the places we would travel won’t have all the things we need! What great advice for traveling with children. Thank you for sharing!!
Thanks for the comment Kate! It is such a shame to not travel if you really love it. I understand. Often what is holding us back is just our own fears. So many people forget that the places we want to go to actually have kids there too! I get that some people worry about kids getting ill, but honestly kids get tummy bugs from nursery school too. Travelling with kids provides many lessons and one of the most important ones I learned was to enjoy the experience along with my kids which meants relaxing a little and enjoying the little things. I wish you many adventures with your kids.
I love to travel and I admire people who travel with kids. I don’t yet have kids but I’m dreaming about traveling the world with them when the time will come. Your tips are great! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Corina! Your future kids are lucky! Travelling with kids can be so much fun and full of adventure for both parents and children. I learned so much about myself and my kids!
I can just picture it (particularly because I have done solo travel with kids and have one that will not use public toilets either). I totally agree though that most Mum’s forget to adjust their mindset when travelling with kids, even if they have adjusted their mindset for other areas of life. I find this phenomenon is worse if the parent has done a lot of travelling pre-kids. I like the idea of daily massages.
Daily massages help with everything! I’m a massage therapist so self care is a priority! I travelled a lot pre kids so I agree. Adjusting expectations is important. I have travelled solo with my 2 older kids. I was so surprised at how challenging that felt compared to travelling with 4 since it was technically the same as my husband sat with 2 and I sat with 2 then. The public toilets in Malaysia were pretty horrific at times so I agree with my public toilet phobic kid. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
I’ll need to keep this is mind for when I have kids one day. Good on you for not leaving your kids at home though like so many parents seem to do. You are giving them a great gift; the gift of travel. PS: I found the sand phobia thing way to funny because I apparently suffered from the same phobia as a baby! I’d always be stranded on a beach towel!
Thanks Chloe! I absolutely don’t have the option of leaving my kids behind! Not many want to babysit 4 kids! I believe travel is great education for both kids and adults. I learned so much in those 6 months about myself and my kids. My children experienced travel in a different way which opened my eyes too! The sand phobia is real!
I think it’s great that your children get to experience the world from such a young age! And what a great way to reflect on it and learn for next time. (I’m 24 and sadly still not grown out of my eczema!) Becca x
Thanks for sharing! My youngest visited 7 countried in his first 12 months! He wont remember those experiences, but it will make him resilient and we will remember how much he loved the sunshine! Eczema is rubbish! He went in the sea all the time and it didn’t seem to cure it like so many told us! Travelling with kids taught me to just laugh off all the mishaps and mayhem which is a great life lesson in general. I stopped taking myself so seriously!
I will be traveling solo with my 3 year old soon and this post just empowered me to do so. Thank you. Especially for the pack light tip. That tends to be my down fall.
Good luck on your travels! Travelling light is key. My husband once flirted with a hot Swedish mum on a plane to borrow nappies as we ran out! So travel light, but bring lots of nappies for flights! I always pack and then take half the toys out. I travelled solo to San Francisco from London with my eldest when she was 3 and snacks were a lifesaver!
I don’t know if you hear this often enough but you are a hero! I only have one 2 y.o and travelling can be challenging. Can’t imagine how it is with 4. But this article is full of truths: it’s always more difficult in your head than in reality and in order to have a good time you, as a mother, need to adjust your expectations. Thank you for this inspiring article.
You are so right. Mindset is everything. Thanks for that. You are a hero too. Parenting 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 kids can be challenging at times. It’s all about your attitude. Once I changed mine to being a bit more chilled out it worked out better and most importantly more fun for everyone! So many lessons learned through travel!
Being in another country with a different culture is very challenging, but hey, you guys made it! Life is a continuous learning process and we all learn something new everyday. Keep enjoying your vacations with your family.
Thanks! Life is such a fun journey when we embrace all opportunities for growth and learning!
Travelling with kids is no different to doing anything with kids. It’s hard work, but totally do-able and really rewarding for all x
You are so right Claire! Thanks for sharing! I’d love to hear your travel experiences with kids. It is so rewarding hearing and watching kids having fun!